Some time ago, I was called upon to invade an orphanage to capture someone who had escaped from us. It was a simple operation, she was short and therefore could not travel far, especially with her dog.
The key was intelligence. By using an image created by NASA, I was able to find exactly where the target was staying. I have labelled each step in my plan on the map, for clarity.
1. Lay a series of explosives around foundation of orphanage. Should anything go wrong, these will be necessary to cover your tracks.
2. Enter into main office, kicking down door, brandishing weapon, and yelling for all in sight to get down. Do so quietly.
3. Take a number with receptionist and wait, stealthily.
4. When number is called, enter into the office of the orphanage head, kicking down the door and brandishing weapon. Ask for file pertaining to target. Burn file or, failing that, add little lines to all "P"s in the file to make them look like "R"s, so the target's file then becomes unreadable.
5. Find target. If other orphans get in your way on your mission, purify them quietly. Do not let their adorable cockney accents, ragged clothes, or large cute eyes get in the way of you eliminating them.
6. Put on Santa Claus costume. The key here is deception. The target is more likely to come with you if she believes you are Santa Claus.
7. Run up to target screaming, ripping off beard and brandishing weapon. Put target in your satchel. Do not forget dog.
8. Leave orphanage, trailing gasoline. Ignite gasoline. If possible, prior to ignition handcuff the nearest orphan to a pipe, give him a hacksaw, and inform him/her that "It takes thirty seconds to cut through bone, five minutes to cut through that steel."
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